Through a Bully's eyes

According to Raising Children Network, from the website called www.raisingchildren.net.au and the title of the article is called "Your child bullying others" and according to the article,you know your child is bullying if he or she talks about the other kids at school in an aggressive or negative way or your child has money, toys or other things that don't belong to them. They say that neither of these signs means your child is definitely bullying, but you might want to talk to your child's teacher to find out if there have been any problems at school.
There are so many reasons why kids bully people they don't know and, especially, this happens mostly with girls, I really think they are insecure about the person, so that's why they bully them until the end of the school year. The bullies really make the victims miserable and I am here to talk about the topic called "When bullies get bullied by others: Understanding bully-victims" which was written by Gwen Dewar, Ph.D for the www.parentingscience.com and according to what I read in her article, kids who harass and intimidate others were once lumped together. But today, researchers have identified two different types of bully. The "pure" bullies are the confident aggressors, on the other hand, the "bully-victim" , by contrast, are both bullies and the victims of bullying. The only person I am going to talk about are the bully-victims, it says in the articlethat an international survey of 11 to 15 years old found that bully-victims experienced worse emotional adjustment in all 25 countries surveyed.
When someone was bullied before and they are now bullying, there are so much reasons why they do what they do. I think the main reason why the previous victims bully now, it's because they want their bullies before to know how it felt like to made fun of, how it felt like when someone took your lunch money and all of those other reasons why their bullies bullied them for. The bully-victims also face family problems and when the kid sees their parents fight , they take it on someone else.
There is a Distinguished Research Professor of Psychology at York University and Senior Associate Scientist at the Hospital for Sick Children named Debra Pepler, she said that "Interventions must focus on the children who bully, with attention to their aggressive behavior problems, social skills, and social problem-solving skills. A focus on the child alone is not sufficient. Bullying is a relationship problem that requires relationship solutions by focusing on the bullying children's strained relationships with parents and risky relationships with peers. By providing intensive and ongoing support starting in the elementary school years to this small group of youth who persistently bully, it may be possible to promote healthy relationships and prevent their "career path" of bullying that leads to numerous social-emotional and relationship in adolescence and adulthood." People should give more attention to the bully-victims and the bullies, because they lack the attention that they need and they might need someone to listen to their problems.
If you are bullying someone just for fun, stop because it really isn't your time because one day you'll also be getting the taste of how it felt like to be bullied. It happened to me since 4th grade and I completely hated it because I thought I was going to die,but then I got through it and now that I am going to be talking about bully-victims and bullies because I ant to understand the true meaning on why bullied.
There is an author named James Lehman, who wrote "The Secret Life of Bullies: Why They Do It -- and How to Stop Them" for the website called www.empowering children.com and he wrote that aggression can either take forms of violence or emotional abuse. Bullies use aggression, and some use violence and verbal abuse, to supplant those skills. So in effect, they don't have to learn problem solving, because they just threaten the other kids. They don't have to learn how to work things out because they just push their classmates or call them names. They don't have to learn how to get along with other people -- they just control them. The way they're solving problems is through brute force and intimidation. So by the time that child reaches ten, bullying is pretty ingrained -- it has become their natural response to any situation whre they feel socially awkward, insecure, frightened, bored or embarrassed.
According to Society for Research in Child Development ,for the Science Daily website,has an article called "Children who bully also have problems with other relationships." wrote that children who bully were found to have conflict in relationships with their parents and friends, and also to associate with others who bully. Researchers looked at 871n students for seven years, beginning at age 10, and found that mot children engage in bullying at some point. The research underscores that bullying is a "relationship problem" that calls for interventions targeting the aggressive behavior, social skills, and problem-solving skills. and also on bullying children's strained relationships.
I saw an article written by Dr. Chris Steer, consultant pediatrician and neurologist, he wrote "Bullying -- bully or bullied?" for the website called www.netdoctor.co.uk Dr. Chris wrote that your child may deny bullying, but parents don't tend to step in unless the situation is bad. The school will check first to see if it's true. Go through the school bullying policy with your child and make sure your child knows you love them, but not their behavior. He gave tips to the parents on what to if you have a child who bullies, he said if you have a younger child who bullies:
I think the bullies are the really problematic ones in the community because of what they go through at home and I really think that they should be listened to. Someone needs to listen to their problems before they even start to take their anger on someone. If you are going through something at home and it isn't the prettiest thing to go through, my advice would write down your feelings because it is going to make you feel better about yourself one day, like it did with me. Being a bully-victim has its perks, but then there are disadvantages, when I started having problems at home I wanted to lash it on someone, it wasn't worth it so I started writing songs and it made me feel better.
- Explain it's unkind and not fun.
- Get your child to realize how the victim feels by reminding your child of past hurts.
- Ask the school to supervise your child
- Explain that bullying can cause severe unhappiness and can even lead to a self-harm attempt - does your child want to be responsible for someone becoming ill and unhappy?
- Ask how your child would feel in the victim's shoes and what he would want done.
- Teach your child how to resolve problems without violence.

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