CHAPTER 2
DISCUSSION
Definition and Types
of Motivation of Bullying
One basic distinction often made in the literature on peer-on-peer aggression is between bullying and teasing. Bullying is an overt act of aggression, whose intention is to harm the victim. Motivations for bullying vary, from the nasty pleasure of asserting power over someone who is weaker or helpless or trying to increase one's own status.
There is a site called psychologytoday.com, they said that the minority of adolescents overtly bully others, also many bullies are low status and both bully others and are victimised themselves. The website also said that most kids will stand by and watch a bully harass and hurt one of their peers without stepping and stopping it, moreover, they often make it worse by acting as an audience -- or even laughing.
Bullies have existed since the beginning of time as have the victims who have suffered fro,m bullying. Today, with the age of the digital world, bullying no longer simply happens in one's personal space. Now can be harassed from thousands of miles away over the internet with sites like twitter, facebook, and others. With so many different ways to bully others in this day in age, it is getting harder and harder to control it and protect the victims.
The site called theravive.com said that bullies do not fit into a neat little box. They come from all walks of life, all ages, all genders, all races, and all cultures. They also said that bullies are very often people who have been bullied or abused themselves. Sometimes they are experiencing life situations they cannot cope with, that leave them feeling helpless and out of control.
Many times, a bully does not feel that they can find any other means of fitting in or craving out their own niche in life so they turn to being powerful in a way that they feel brings them respect. They feel that being feared is the way to gain respect and surround themselves with friends and people who look up to them. However, what they do not realize is that people are "friends" with them so they do not become a target of their bullying. It all comes down to fear. Another possibility of the reason being the bullying attitude is that they bully themselves feels that they have no control in their lives. (http://www.theravive.com/research/The-Psychology-Of-Bullying)
According to the same site, the people in the bully's life that also have an effect on their behaviour. On one side, the bully may have a family who does not care about the bully's behaviour and may even encourage it because they are the same way towards people.
Teasing among people may be an inevitable fact of life, and unfortunately, young children are initiated into this behaviour at a young age. Children cope up with teasing in a variety of ways. For example, they may walk away or stand up to the individual who is doing the teasing or confront a teaser with friends who will stand up for them. However, when the teasing turns to taunting and the child is afraid that any attempt to stop the aggressor will cause harm. the situation is more serious and possibly crosses the line into bullying.
It is important that we learn the motivation behind bullying because class bullies are often thought of as outcasts who actions leads to rejection by their peers, but new research shows that many are actually popular kids who raise their social standing by picking on others. It says that the reasons why bullies do what they do it is because the victims annoy them, to get even, to make fun of the victim, peer-pressure, the victims are wimps, the bullies show the victims how tough they are and to get things or money from the victims. Standing up for yourself is fine, inflicting harm in retaliation is not. It is possible that the latter approach could perpetuate and increase the child’s problems. Children who use bullying to deal with their difficulties may go on to use this coping mechanism in future relationships. This could lead to difficulties with maintaining friendship, romantic relationships and possibly even lead to behaviour such as domestic violence. Having knowledge on what motivates the bully will help everyone get aware, they will be able to help the bullies, in a sense that the bullies will be able to get to open up to someone on why they bully.
Some bullies are motivated by winning, competition and success. Bullies are motivated by this however not all successful people are bullies. What motivates these type of people instead is the recognition they get as a bully and as someone seemingly important. They like the attention and they like that the focus is on them and the damage they can do. For a bully being able to tear someone down to nothing and have their status and their social standing improve is one o the biggest rewards that a bully can have. The biggest thing we can do as witnesses to bullying or even if we just know someone who is a bully is to take away their stature. Stop talking about them, stop giving them recognition and stop recognising them at all.
One basic distinction often made in the literature on peer-on-peer aggression is between bullying and teasing. Bullying is an overt act of aggression, whose intention is to harm the victim. Motivations for bullying vary, from the nasty pleasure of asserting power over someone who is weaker or helpless or trying to increase one's own status.
There is a site called psychologytoday.com, they said that the minority of adolescents overtly bully others, also many bullies are low status and both bully others and are victimised themselves. The website also said that most kids will stand by and watch a bully harass and hurt one of their peers without stepping and stopping it, moreover, they often make it worse by acting as an audience -- or even laughing.
Bullies have existed since the beginning of time as have the victims who have suffered fro,m bullying. Today, with the age of the digital world, bullying no longer simply happens in one's personal space. Now can be harassed from thousands of miles away over the internet with sites like twitter, facebook, and others. With so many different ways to bully others in this day in age, it is getting harder and harder to control it and protect the victims.
The site called theravive.com said that bullies do not fit into a neat little box. They come from all walks of life, all ages, all genders, all races, and all cultures. They also said that bullies are very often people who have been bullied or abused themselves. Sometimes they are experiencing life situations they cannot cope with, that leave them feeling helpless and out of control.
Many times, a bully does not feel that they can find any other means of fitting in or craving out their own niche in life so they turn to being powerful in a way that they feel brings them respect. They feel that being feared is the way to gain respect and surround themselves with friends and people who look up to them. However, what they do not realize is that people are "friends" with them so they do not become a target of their bullying. It all comes down to fear. Another possibility of the reason being the bullying attitude is that they bully themselves feels that they have no control in their lives. (http://www.theravive.com/research/The-Psychology-Of-Bullying)
According to the same site, the people in the bully's life that also have an effect on their behaviour. On one side, the bully may have a family who does not care about the bully's behaviour and may even encourage it because they are the same way towards people.
Teasing among people may be an inevitable fact of life, and unfortunately, young children are initiated into this behaviour at a young age. Children cope up with teasing in a variety of ways. For example, they may walk away or stand up to the individual who is doing the teasing or confront a teaser with friends who will stand up for them. However, when the teasing turns to taunting and the child is afraid that any attempt to stop the aggressor will cause harm. the situation is more serious and possibly crosses the line into bullying.
It is important that we learn the motivation behind bullying because class bullies are often thought of as outcasts who actions leads to rejection by their peers, but new research shows that many are actually popular kids who raise their social standing by picking on others. It says that the reasons why bullies do what they do it is because the victims annoy them, to get even, to make fun of the victim, peer-pressure, the victims are wimps, the bullies show the victims how tough they are and to get things or money from the victims. Standing up for yourself is fine, inflicting harm in retaliation is not. It is possible that the latter approach could perpetuate and increase the child’s problems. Children who use bullying to deal with their difficulties may go on to use this coping mechanism in future relationships. This could lead to difficulties with maintaining friendship, romantic relationships and possibly even lead to behaviour such as domestic violence. Having knowledge on what motivates the bully will help everyone get aware, they will be able to help the bullies, in a sense that the bullies will be able to get to open up to someone on why they bully.
Some bullies are motivated by winning, competition and success. Bullies are motivated by this however not all successful people are bullies. What motivates these type of people instead is the recognition they get as a bully and as someone seemingly important. They like the attention and they like that the focus is on them and the damage they can do. For a bully being able to tear someone down to nothing and have their status and their social standing improve is one o the biggest rewards that a bully can have. The biggest thing we can do as witnesses to bullying or even if we just know someone who is a bully is to take away their stature. Stop talking about them, stop giving them recognition and stop recognising them at all.
Reasons why bullies
bully others
A. Family Problems
Most of us don't know the reasons why bullies bully others and one of the reasons why they do it is because of family problems. The bullies experience painful things as well, even though they don't show it, they put their anger and their hurt through bullying others.Parenting styles that emphasise demands over parent-to-child affection can indirectly encourage bullying behaviour. Part of the reason lies in children failing to gain positive support when they've performed well or behaved well. Without parent emotional rewards to guide the child's behaviour, the child will seek eternal rewards. In such cases, children might find rewards through bullying, such as gaining peer respect or gaining material goods, including possessions of classmates. (http://everydaylife.globalpost.com/parental-influence-bullying-5917.html)
Bullies within the family, especially female bullies, are masters or mistresses, of manipulation and are fond of manipulating people through their emotions and their beliefs, attitudes and perceptions. Bullies see any form of vulnerability as an opportunity for manipulation, and are especially prone to exploiting those who are most emotionally needy. The family bully encourages and manipulates family members to lie, act dishonourably and dishonestly, withhold information, spread misinformation, and to punish the target for allege infractions, for example, the family members become the bully's unwitting and sometimes witting instruments of harassment.
Family problems is one of the main reasons why bullying is such a huge problem in the community. Sometimes family issues, particularly those involving abuse or violence, mean that you have to leave your family, home or partner and start a new life elsewhere. Coping with your emotions, getting money and finding somewhere to live all at the same time can be really hard.
Most of us don't know the reasons why bullies bully others and one of the reasons why they do it is because of family problems. The bullies experience painful things as well, even though they don't show it, they put their anger and their hurt through bullying others.Parenting styles that emphasise demands over parent-to-child affection can indirectly encourage bullying behaviour. Part of the reason lies in children failing to gain positive support when they've performed well or behaved well. Without parent emotional rewards to guide the child's behaviour, the child will seek eternal rewards. In such cases, children might find rewards through bullying, such as gaining peer respect or gaining material goods, including possessions of classmates. (http://everydaylife.globalpost.com/parental-influence-bullying-5917.html)
Bullies within the family, especially female bullies, are masters or mistresses, of manipulation and are fond of manipulating people through their emotions and their beliefs, attitudes and perceptions. Bullies see any form of vulnerability as an opportunity for manipulation, and are especially prone to exploiting those who are most emotionally needy. The family bully encourages and manipulates family members to lie, act dishonourably and dishonestly, withhold information, spread misinformation, and to punish the target for allege infractions, for example, the family members become the bully's unwitting and sometimes witting instruments of harassment.
Family problems is one of the main reasons why bullying is such a huge problem in the community. Sometimes family issues, particularly those involving abuse or violence, mean that you have to leave your family, home or partner and start a new life elsewhere. Coping with your emotions, getting money and finding somewhere to live all at the same time can be really hard.
B. Jealousy
Children who are mistreated at home start feeling insecure and inadequate and as a result some of them become bullies because this provides them with a great deal of relief. A person might become a bully in order to feel worth. By devaluing the target, the bully feels superior and so maintains his self worth and protects his ego. Insecurity is another big reason for bullying. Because bullies feel insecure they try to create an illusion of being in control by bullying a weak victim. From the outside bullies might appear strong and in control but from the inside most of them feel insecure, inadequate and inferior. Another popular reason for bullying is attention seeking. Some people become bullies because they are desperately in need of attention and bullying in this case is the only thing they can do to bring some attention to themselves.
According to the website called bullying.about.com, when it comes to understanding why bullies target specific kids, it is important to move past the usual assumptions. Those assumptions include believing that all bullies are loners or lack self-esteem. In fact, the reasons behind bullying can run the gamut from lack of impulse control and anger management issues to revenge and a longing to fit in.
The site said the power, popularity, payback, problems, pleasure, prejudices, and peer pressure are some of the reasons why bullies bully. The bullies bully do it for power because they always want to be in charge are prone to bullying. They only interact with others when it's on their terms. If things don't go their way, then they resort to bullying. This is especially true among mean girls who often thrive on power and control. Athletes and physically strong students also may resort to bullying because of the power they have over weaker or smaller students. Additionally, some athletes will bully each other in an attempt to eliminate the competition on the team. They bully for popularity, sometimes bullying can be a manifestation of social status. Kids who are popular often make fun of kids who are less popular. They perpetuate relational aggression and mean girl behaviour. Popularity can also lead to spread rumours and gossip, engage in humiliating others. Meanwhile, kids who are trying to climb the social ladder at school or gain some social power often resort to bullying, sexual bullying or cyber-bullying to get attention. They also might choose to bully others in an attempt to diminish the social status of another person. The main reason why they do this it its because they were once bullied so they bully others for payback. Bullies bully because they have problems at home, also because of peer pressure.
The researcher thinks that the other reasons why they do what they do it is because the victims may be good at what they do, the victims may have an illness or disability, or the targets have different religious or cultural beliefs.
The bullies may be insecure because the victim might be good than they are because there are a lot of times where kids will be bullied because they get a lot of positive attention for something. This could be everything from excelling in sports, making the cheer leading squad or getting the editors position on the school newspaper. Bullies target these students because they either feel inferior or they worry that their abilities are being overshadowed by the target's abilities.
Children who are mistreated at home start feeling insecure and inadequate and as a result some of them become bullies because this provides them with a great deal of relief. A person might become a bully in order to feel worth. By devaluing the target, the bully feels superior and so maintains his self worth and protects his ego. Insecurity is another big reason for bullying. Because bullies feel insecure they try to create an illusion of being in control by bullying a weak victim. From the outside bullies might appear strong and in control but from the inside most of them feel insecure, inadequate and inferior. Another popular reason for bullying is attention seeking. Some people become bullies because they are desperately in need of attention and bullying in this case is the only thing they can do to bring some attention to themselves.
According to the website called bullying.about.com, when it comes to understanding why bullies target specific kids, it is important to move past the usual assumptions. Those assumptions include believing that all bullies are loners or lack self-esteem. In fact, the reasons behind bullying can run the gamut from lack of impulse control and anger management issues to revenge and a longing to fit in.
The site said the power, popularity, payback, problems, pleasure, prejudices, and peer pressure are some of the reasons why bullies bully. The bullies bully do it for power because they always want to be in charge are prone to bullying. They only interact with others when it's on their terms. If things don't go their way, then they resort to bullying. This is especially true among mean girls who often thrive on power and control. Athletes and physically strong students also may resort to bullying because of the power they have over weaker or smaller students. Additionally, some athletes will bully each other in an attempt to eliminate the competition on the team. They bully for popularity, sometimes bullying can be a manifestation of social status. Kids who are popular often make fun of kids who are less popular. They perpetuate relational aggression and mean girl behaviour. Popularity can also lead to spread rumours and gossip, engage in humiliating others. Meanwhile, kids who are trying to climb the social ladder at school or gain some social power often resort to bullying, sexual bullying or cyber-bullying to get attention. They also might choose to bully others in an attempt to diminish the social status of another person. The main reason why they do this it its because they were once bullied so they bully others for payback. Bullies bully because they have problems at home, also because of peer pressure.
The researcher thinks that the other reasons why they do what they do it is because the victims may be good at what they do, the victims may have an illness or disability, or the targets have different religious or cultural beliefs.
The bullies may be insecure because the victim might be good than they are because there are a lot of times where kids will be bullied because they get a lot of positive attention for something. This could be everything from excelling in sports, making the cheer leading squad or getting the editors position on the school newspaper. Bullies target these students because they either feel inferior or they worry that their abilities are being overshadowed by the target's abilities.
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